Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before. – Edgar Allan Poe
I have resigned that my love was unrequited As you were unresponsive Part of you pulling me close Another part pushing me away I did not understand Although I tried to And I accepted to be just friends with you Yet all of a sudden, even that seemed too much for you
What did I do wrong? No explanation given You shunned me So, I did the same
Abandoned all of what I felt for you No longer waiting at your back door Closed my doors to you thinking that was what you wanted
But no, you were scared weren’t you? Scared of being too close and falling You knew you were wrong for me but wanted my friendship still And so, you tried to get it back But I was being hard headed I didn’t want to go back
As fate would have it, our paths intertwined and I fell for your devious charms.
I was warned beforehand. But I played it cool thinking I was impervious. Oh! How wrong was I.
Unguarded. I was unguarded and it was my own fault. I turned the warning signs off. I allowed myself to be fragile and opened up my heart.
You were the wrong fit. Yet, I still kept at it. Like Cinderella’s step sisters trying to fit the glass slipper. But I was the glass slipper, wasn’t I? And unlike the step sisters, you didn’t want me to fit.
I was happy being alone. Being by myself was not a chore. I didn’t feel the need to be with anyone. But then you came along.
Suddenly, I found myself wanting and needing someone…so badly. I didn’t want to, but it happened anyway. I didn’t want to fall for you. I kept my distance. I kept my head low. Still, it found me. Still, I fell for you.
Last year, I wrote a five part series titled Love Letters To Christopher. I’ve left hyperlinks of the series below so it’s easier for you to check them, if you want.
This year, I’m releasing another series and it’s going to be titled Dear Jeffrey. This is part one of I don’t know how many parts yet. I’m not sure as well if I will be posting every day or once a week but I’ll leave a link for the previous ones in case some of you miss it.
This is a project I’ve decided to take on for myself just for fun. I look forward to your comments on this series soon.
Love Letters To Christopher links: (Featured images used for this series are works by Ottokim)
I’m finding the needed peace Happy to have been part of a chapter in your life It used to hurt, I used to ache But time has made it easy I’ve dedicated songs and made poetries for you Most of them long gone
I may have been that silly girl, hurt by her first rejection But I have accepted the lesson and have become a better woman now
Christopher, I’ve found the peace I didn’t know I was searching for I thought I lost it because of you Turns out I found it, because of you
This is the last for this series of love letters. I think the 4th is my favourite. I enjoyed writing these letters. I hope you enjoyed reading them too. To close this off, here’s a song to go with this post.
This is Lea Salonga’s version. The original one is from Joey Albert. Fun fact, Lea Salonga is the singing voice of Princess Jasmine and Mulan from the Disney animated version.
PS. I hope you followed this love letters series and if so, I hope you noticed how the featured image shows the writer changing, somewhat growing up as the letters progress.
PPS. My eyes are hurting so I’m resting them tonight. I won’t be able to respond right away. I’ll be reading posts tomorrow as well.
Times change, and so do people We both have changed since those early days of pre-teenhood But I still remember one thing I wanted to do, but never got to After walking outside the gym from graduation, before my family came out I looked for you In the sea of friends, classmates and everyone else who congratulated me, I looked for you
Finally, like a moment in the films where things go in slow motion and everyone else is a blur, I found you You were the only focus at that time I made a bee line towards you But then your family was there And mine called me aside… …that was the last time I saw you
You don’t know how much that haunts me And how much I wanted to get to you I just wanted to shake your hand or give you a hug To congratulate you and say goodbye I never got to say goodbye
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Maria Michaela Poetry 
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