If I starve myself will you be kinder?
If I starve myself will you be nicer?
Will you treat me better?
Will you be just a little sweeter?
If I starve myself to meet your standards,
Will you accept me with arms wide open afterwards?
So I starve myself and I begin to deteriorate
My starvation, it accelerates
I drown and become lost
I only paid for my life, it’s not much of a cost.
Cute, stylish, colorful
They make me bashful
For they’re made for women of slimmer figure
And they always me make insecure.
I’ve never worn one without shirt and shorts
They make me wish I did sports
To get that confidence in looking great
But instead, my body I tend to hate.
A piece of clothing
Cause of my loathing
It’s not funny
I’m self conscious…all the time
I look at the mirror
Try to cheer myself up
Gain the confidence
But it gets depleted with each people who look at me funny.
The skinny can easily find clothes that fit
The heavy….well, we often struggle
My self esteem has left years ago
So I curl up on my bed
And hide in my room
And so I came to realize that people with smaller size, smaller frame
Gets the praise, popularity and fame
They always seem to win the game
Of one size fits all.
I never try an outfit where they can see, for fear of being shamed
And perhaps, fear of being maimed
They may not laugh at me but I’ll feel awful just the same
Such an awful feeling.
My confidence, I can never tame
I am just another fat suffering dame
I feel so lame
For wanting to be one of those with smaller frames
I have one wish
One I’ve had since I was small
I don’t want to be called fat anymore
I want people to stop joking about my weight
I just want to be unfat
But I think it’s too much to ask for
Will I ever lose the pounds I gained?
I’m drifting to isolation again
Confidence gained is now confidence lost
And I have but myself to blame the most
Spare me the sweet talk and tell me straight
That I’ve once again gained weight
I’m too fat again
I’m too skinny tomorrow
I will never be enough
I will never be just fine
I’m either too much or too little
Not enough or an excess
I’m starting to fall again
Fall out of love of myself
How much more do you want from me?
I have nothing left!
To be skin and bones
And skin and bones!
To you I am just the sheel that you see
I have nothing more
Shed those extra weight
Remove all self hate
Driving oneself to the distance
It takes a lot of hard work, give yourself a chance
Don’t give up now, you’ve come a long way
Show them what you’re made of now insead of waiting for someday
Sweat it out and enjoy yourself
I go on and tell this to myself
No one will do it for me
And so I go at it, in the end we shall see
She looks at the mirror
Not liking what she sees
If only she were thinner
She’d have men on their knees
She holds her breath
Sucks her stomach in
Doesn’t hold too long for fear of death
She looks at her own skin
She stops, breathes deep
Takes the one size bigger
It fits her fine, it’s the one she’ll keep
Because she’s happier even when she’s not one size thinner