It must be exhausting being you
Always on the spotlight
Never able to hide from the world.
It must be awful being you
Not able to decide for yourself, not really
Always being told what to do
Because that is the price you pay in exchange for the fame they give you.
It must be cruel in the world you’re living
Because no smile or kindness shows on you
It must be hard to pretend it’s all perfect
When deep down you’re struggling to breathe and break free.
Like the love that you gave
It was all just pretend
Nothing we do could ever save
The wilted feelings we felt in the end.
And like the plastic flowers on the table
We couldn’t do anything more than we’re able
I smile and sometimes laugh
But deep down I’m sad.
They see a bright and happy gal
But they don’t know I’m sad.
Not out loud, just secretly kept,
I am sad.
I play pretend and deny it to myself
But the truth is, I’m sad.
– Maria Michaela –
Sometimes I pretend I was someone else
To escape this reality for a while.
I could be an astronaut
Or an actress playing these parts.
I could be the hero
Or the villain
The one saving the dragon
Or the dragon itself.
I pretend, to keep sane
Their profile, is filtered.
They see the world
They take a photo
They share it so everyone else can envy them
But their life is filtered.
As if they live in a rose colored world
As if they are perfect
They go the extra mile just to get a million likes
Because their world is filtered.
I could be in two places at once
I could be a princess who stole the prince’s heart at a glance
I could be an explorer of a strange new land
Or an archeologist digging the sand
I could be the damsel who behaves properly
I could be the one who slays monsters eagerly
I could be so many things when I’m watching a movie
I wear a fake smile
Pretend to be happy
Deep inside though
I wear this mask so people can’t see
Because I don’t want their pity
I’m miserable inside
And they will never know
But something’s got to give
Something’s got to break
I promised I will cry no more
But crying helps
A momentary paralysis of the pain
I let it all out
I let it drown me
Because I want to let go of you
I’ll continue to pretend
Only because I’ve been addicted to faking it
You see, I don’t mind pretending to be happy
Because it’s better than you seeing me cry
like the fish in the sea or the leaves on a tree
admire you, are attracted to you
Then I wonder
if somehow you noticed
or are noticing
some signs perhaps?
does it show?
a pretender am I
and a good one at that
I hide reality and wrap myself around
the fake smile
though I long still for some attention
I know deep within
friendship is what you only offer
I still dream and wish that at least this once
at least this time
at least you
would ever take notice of me