Posted in knick knacks, original

A Year From Now

I’ve been following Joseph Gordon-Levitt (500 Days of Summer, Rush) on Instagram as I’m a fan of his work. I also like his community-website HitRecord. So on his Instagram, he posted this “April-must-do list” that one of the HitRecord member created. The list suggests what you can do or post on the website for each day of April – kind of like The Daily Post here in WordPress. The list suggested for the 3rd of April this – ‘a year from now’. Coincidentally, I have been thinking about what would happen a year from now. So, I used this as a bit of inspiration for today’s post.

I sit here outside our terrace and I wonder what would happen a year from now.

Will we learn and remember all the valuable lessons this pandemic has taught us?

When we look back a year from now, will we be looking back with anguish or anger or fear?

Will we be more appreciative knowing the difficulties we all had to go through?

Will we be kinder to each other?

Will we be better people?

I look up at the sky that’s slowly turning orange from blue, and I wonder what would happen a year from now.

©Maria Michaela

Posted in heartbroken, original, Relationship

Never Learn

I couldn’t love you for it would be a lie

I couldn’t let you wait on me or let you say you’d rather die

Than be alone and without me.

For what you felt for me was never love, not at all

It was infatuation and wanting, no, not love at all.

To hold your breath if I told you to

That would have been too much power I’d hold over you.

You were wrong for me for I never wanted or liked you

And I truly am sorry for I could never learn to love you.

Posted in heartbroken, love, original

Still

I loved him then and may love him still

But there is so much more to think and do in this world than be stuck with feelings for him

Feelings unguarded

Feelings unwanted

Feelings unrequited

Still, I entertain thoughts of him

Still, I find myself daydreaming

Still, I recall the hurt

The pain

And so, I realised I still have so much to learn

Posted in life, original, Relationship

Dance With Wolves

I’ve learned to dance with wolves

I’ve learned to live with them

They surround me often

Waiting to pounce

Waiting for the moment I let my guard down

They come around still

Pretending to be tame

Pretending to be innocent

But I know

I’ve learned

I am not their prey

Because I know them

And that is why they now fear me

– Maria Michaela

Posted in heartbroken, original

Hard Lesson

What was I to you?

What was it you wanted of me?

Did you want me to be more?

Did you want to be more?

.

You go on lying

I know you’re faking

My heart is aching

The sight of you haunts me

Like a never ending nightmare

.

Those tortured months I died inside

And you just let me

And now I know to be more careful and to read between each lines

Posted in original, Relationship

The Idea

And on he went by telling me that he has fallen for me

I ask him why, what made him look my way

He says the mystery of me is a curious thing for him

So I say,

“You are not in love with me.

You are in love with the idea of me.

Of the what could be, what will be, what you and I could do,

Or would do. Of the idea that I could be it, the one, the lifetime.

You are in love with the future that has yet to unfold, which most girls might like

However,

That is not what I see.

I see the now, the boy who has no idea of what he truly wants.

The boy aimlessly moving along and bringing along whatever he is attracted to.

I see a boy lost in the fairytales hoping the princess would come and save him from loneliness.

That is not what I want.

I want a man who can stand on his own

Who agrees to disagree with me

Whose idea is like and unlike my own and respects it

A man who battles with me, for me, and will stand by me

A man who has sense and intelligence and emotion.

You may not see the difference”, I said to him.

“Because you are a boy who still has yet to grasp the idea of what it is to be a man.”

Posted in heartbroken, love, original

Who Did You Love?

Before it broke who did you give it to?

Who was it that left it black and blue?

Who stole your precious heart,

Only to tear it apart?

Who was this person, whom you thought was the one?

Who was it that suddenly left, suddenly gone?

Who was it that you loved?

The one you gave the stars above?

Who was it that taught you a lesson?

That taught you to love, is all the right reason