Posted in miscellaneous, original

Ridiculous!

Ridiculous!

Isn’t it just ridiculous?

For the world to tumble-down

Turn around three-sixty

For it to surprise you

In ways you never expected

And you are never ready for it

 

Then again it’s not about all that

It’s about how you react

How you see things

See it in a positive light

And don’t be so ridiculous!

Posted in favorites

Be Glad Your Nose Is In Your Face

Be glad your nose is on your face,
not pasted on some other place,
for if it were where it is not,
you might dislike your nose a lot.

Imagine if your precious nose
were sandwiched in between your toes,
that clearly would not be a treat,
for you’d be forced to smell your feet.

Your nose would be a source of dread
were it attached atop your head,
it soon would drive you to despair,
forever tickled by your hair.

Within your ear, your nose would be
an absolute catastrophe,
for when you were obliged to sneeze,
your brain would rattle from the breeze.

Your nose, instead, through thick and thin,
remains between your eyes and chin,
not pasted on some other place–
be glad your nose is on your face!

-Jack Prelutsky

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The Creature In The Classroom

It appeared inside our classroom
at a quarter after ten,
it gobbled up the blackboard,
three erasers and a pen.
It gobbled teacher’s apple
and it bopped her with the core.
“How dare you!” she responded.
“You must leave us . . . there’s the door.”
The Creature didn’t listen
but described an arabesque
as it gobbled all her pencils,
seven notebooks and her desk.
Teacher stated very calmly,
“Sir! You simply cannot stay,
I’ll report you to the principal
unless you go away!”
But the thing continued eating,
it ate paper, swallowed ink,
as it gobbled up our homework
I believe I saw it wink.
Teacher finally lost her temper.
“OUT!” she shouted at the creature.
The creature hopped beside her
and GLOPP . . . it gobbled teacher.
-Jack Prelutsky
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I Wave Goodbye When Butter Flies

I wave good-bye when butter flies
and cheer a boxing match,
I’ve often watched my pillow fight,
I’ve sewn a cabbage patch,
I like to dance at basket balls
or lead a rubber band,
I’ve marveled at a spelling bee,
I’ve helped a peanut stand.
It’s possible a pencil points,
but does a lemon drop?
Does coffee break or chocolate kiss,
and will a soda pop?
I share my milk with drinking straws,
my meals with chewing gum,
and should I see my pocket change,
I’ll hear my kettle drum.
It makes me sad when lettuce leaves,
I laugh when dinner rolls,
I wonder if the kitchen sinks
and if a salad bowls,
I’ve listened to a diamond ring,
I’ve waved a football fan,
and if a chimney sweeps the floor,
I’m sure the garbage can.
– Jack Prelutsky
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As Soon As Fred Gets Out of Bed

As soon as Fred gets out of bed,
his underwear goes on his head.
His mother laughs, “Don’t put it there,
a head’s no place for underwear!”
But near his ears, above his brains,
is where Fred’s underwear remains.

At night when Fred goes back to bed,
he deftly plucks it off his head.
His mother switches off the light
and softly croons, “Good night! Good night!”
And then, for reasons no one knows,
Fred’s underwear goes on his toes.

– Jack Prelutsky

Posted in original

That Funny Feeling

set me on fire

until I am nothing but charred ashes.

drink the nectar of life from me.

you’ve taken everything,

why stop now?

 

the blood that flows beneath delicate skin

uncovered by shaking fingertips,

have never seen daylight this beautiful.

my soul is washed with warmness

from a stare colder than ice.

he’s taken everything from me

and he’s not stopping now.

 

the end of my beginning starts with this presence

one that he never seems to notice.

I am drained of courage and I can never speak

my mind.

it starts fast, quicker than the speed of light

and that funny feeling when you’re around

goes on a roller coaster ride once more

so why stop now?

Posted in original

I Told A Joke

don’t try to be funny

or you’ll in end up like me

famous as can be

on the cover of jokes for dummies

don’t try to pull a joke

if you’re just going to choke

you might end up like a frog and croak

might as well your eye, you poke

I’ve learned my lesson and I’ve learned it well

a joke I will never ever tell

i’ll stick to writing poetry

at least, it’s easy as one, two, three

Posted in favorites

I Love Me

I took myself out on a date
and said I’m looking grand,
and when I got my courage up
I asked to hold my hand.

I took me to a restaurant
and then a movie show.
I put my arm around me
in the most secluded row.

I whispered sweetly in my ear
of happiness and bliss,
and then I almost slapped me
when I tried to steal a kiss.

Then afterwards I walked me home
and since I’m so polite
I thanked me for a perfect date
and wished myself goodnight.

There’s just one little problem
and it kind of hurts my pride.
Myself would not invite me in
so now I’m locked outside!

– Kenn Nesbitt