Sometimes I write about sadness
Though it doesn’t mean I’m sad
At times I write about happiness
But it doesn’t necessarily mean I’m glad.
And then I write about heart aches
Of how the heart can bleed
It’s not entirely my own
I just let my pen lead.
And so the emotions pour
While I continue to write along.
See the sky?
It’s blue but it’s happy
See the river?
Its green but does not envy
The clouds are white and pure
But it can also be dark and heavy
Nature can be full of wonder
Full of emotions
They judge me
They tell me I’ve never truly felt love
Or been in love
But how would they know?
The dim witted often think they’re smart
They will never understand
And I won’t care
Because I know,
Heartbreak is all I’ve ever had
You know I was beginning to like you,
A little at first
Then it grew, well just a little.
Then you started to be distant,
A little at first and then some more.
Part of me hoped you were going to be it,
Part of me died when I found out you weren’t.
You see, no matter how little it was that I felt for you
I felt something anyway.
You can’t impose it
Or simply dispose of it
You can’t wish for it to happen
Or force it
It happens when it does and it’s a great thing when it comes your way
But how can I put this simply
In words easily understood?
Don’t force me, because if I don’t like it
I never will
I don’t hold my breath when you’re around
Though your presence has always been the most wonderful sound.
I don’t feel butterflies at all
But your presence alone makes me feel ten times tall!
I don’t feel my heart skip a beat
But hearing your voice is a feeling so sweet.
I don’t think I’m in love with you, no, not yet
But maybe in the future, I think, I bet
I will hide these feelings
The emotions that I truly feel,
For there are people who don’t understand
I don’t know what’s their deal
I want to be proud of you
I guess I’ll do so discreetly
For they scavenge like vultures
Picking at us most happily
Please know that my feelings are true
And that each time I pretend not to feel, I’m blue
Know that when the time comes, I’d embrace you whole heartedly
They’d die of envy for they know I’d love you deeply
I used to be so good at hiding
Emotions was always easy to fake
I was good at it
But recently, not so
When teased, I blush!
Why do I do that?
You don’t make my heart skip a beat
Yet there is a way you make me feel
I can’t help it, it annoys me
Because for some reason
My emotions don’t want to hide from you
I used to sing of love songs
I used to write about love
I smiled at my stars
And thanked the heavens above
Then came the heartbreak
The crying and the rains
The sad realization
And the pains
Then I learned to let go
Move on, for real
In some ways, afraid to fall once more
And then you
I may sing the same song once more
But, I’m more than ready if that happens
Unexpectedly it happened
And I seized the moment
He held my hand in more ways than one
He always made me feel special
Where one broke me, but made me strong
He always took care of me
Though I do wish to be strong, I too want to be treated like a fragile china
Thankful I am to both men
They don’t know how much they’ve changed me
But when the skies grow dark
I know who makes me happiest the most