They know me as the quiet one
And automatically they label me as serious
They don’t even become curious
To try and know me.
They say I’m the quiet one
And automatically they say I’m boring
They don’t care about knowing
What I might have to say.
Quiet ones don’t do much, they say
Quiet ones don’t have fun in any way
But we quite ones know better
There’s a lot of world up in my head
A lot more than the things I’ve said.
So many things I’ve thought up and imagined
Some are still waiting to be awakened.
Hide the flaws and imperfections
Hide the scars and ugly truths
Wear the mask, make them proud
But don’t lose yourself along the way.
Sometimes I feel pretty
Sometimes I feel ugh
Rarely do I feel sexy
Often I just need a hug.
At times I ooze confidence
Mostly I just shy away
I kind of like my bit of independence
But not all days are good like today.
I look in the mirror and often say, “meh”
But everyday I’m learning to love my ordinary face until I say, “oh yeah”.
You’re allowed to be lazy
You’re allowed to take time
You’re allowed to think of yourself first
Or be selfish every once in a while.
You’re allowed to find the calm and hide from the chaos
You’re allowed some alone time
Or simply just lie back and do nothing.
You are allowed to slow down
To simply take time for yourself.
Like balloons I am colourful outside
But sensitive and fragile inside.
Playful, captivating, alluring
Also intelligent, insensitive, and all too caring.
Like balloons, I can be fun
Yet I can also be glum.
I burst and pop out joy
And also suddenly deflate and be annoyed.
I can be a pop of red or a subtle green
But also be blue and gray and in between.
I can be as put together like a bouquet,
But also, like balloons I often float away.
Photo from: https://www.pinterest.ph/pin/318489004884687488/
I found a letter addressed to me
I read it slowly and carefully
“Hey beautiful! Remember you are beautiful…
In every single way
No matter what you feel each day.
Do not let the scale’s number or the clothing size define you.
You are wonderful and beautiful despite what some other people might say…
Despite what you might say to yourself.
You’re not perfect but you are unique so stop trying to fit in.
Be bold yet simple
Be delicate but strong
Be your awesome you!
There will be people who will put you down.
Society will try to change you to fit the norm.
But remember, you are loved and should learn to love yourself.
Most of all, remember that I love you.”
The letter ended and it was signed by me.
I cried in silence
I didn’t want anyone to know.
Not that no one cared
I just thought they wouldn’t understand.
They may think I’m fickle
They may think I just want to be noticed.
So I say nothing
Pretend I’m fine
Fake a smile
And laugh a lie
But I’m broken and I know I need to fix myself
I stepped on the weighting scale and I looked up
Afraid of what I’ll see when I look down as the weight may not have dropped.
I crossed my fingers and even my toes
Hoping to end a bit of my woes.
Slowly I looked down, praying the scale would be good to me
I hide behind fake laughter
I hide behind half meant smiles
I hide my self esteem
Tuck it all away never knowing when it will be put to use.
I hide my scars
I hide my incompetencies
I hide everything that is wrong with me because society only wants perfection.
I hide sadness
I hide struggles
No one wants to deal with that.
I hide myself until I’m no more,
Hidden and wasting away.