To be fat is to be shameful
To be fat means to feel awful
This is what I learned as a child.
My family loved me, and I know they tried
Tried to protect me, but they do not know how much I cried
Because whenever I have an ounce of confidence
Society retaliates with a pound of uncertainty.
My curves became my curse and I hated myself
I felt like an unwanted book tucked away on the shelf
I hated my curves.
There are nights I’d pick myself up
Saying that I am enough and I am loved
But most nights…..most nights are awful
I lie to myself sometimes
That if I love my curves enough
Society will accept them and I will no longer need to hide
I imagined him
And in my mind he came to be
He was all and everything
He was not mine
He belonged to no one
But he gave his heart to me
She curled up like a ball
Didn’t care of the world at all.
It hurt and made her cranky
Anxious and often angry.
She also gets so moody
All because it’s the time of month to be bloody.
Her cravings grow stronger
She can’t fight it any longer.
Chocolate is her comfort
It eases the discomfort.
She massages her aching abdomen to ease the pain
And wishes she could just stay in bed all day again.
I try to better myself, I really do
But it always seems
Like I’m never going to be good enough
I could have danced all night with the stars watching over me
But the clouds came by
I stopped and greeted them
They were a bit shy
Nonetheless they said “hi”
They too danced along
And I smiled
It was a wonderful number
The stars did agree
And that was how the clouds danced that night
I was fine for a while
I was okay for a while
It was all fine and dandy
But after a while,
Finally admitted I wasn’t as fine as I pretended to be
And though I loved the way he made me feel
It wasn’t true, it wasn’t real
It was all scripted
For he was after all like all my toys,
She was bland and a little bitter
She was practical and could be a little sweeter
She was laughter and medicine
She was all but plain
They feared all this. She thought she was too dark to handle