I took myself out on a date
and said I’m looking grand,
and when I got my courage up
I asked to hold my hand.

I took me to a restaurant
and then a movie show.
I put my arm around me
in the most secluded row.

I whispered sweetly in my ear
of happiness and bliss,
and then I almost slapped me
when I tried to steal a kiss.

Then afterwards I walked me home
and since I’m so polite
I thanked me for a perfect date
and wished myself goodnight.

There’s just one little problem
and it kind of hurts my pride.
Myself would not invite me in
so now I’m locked outside!

– Kenn Nesbitt